#pregnant

The day I found out I was pregnant seemed like any other day but it truly was a day unlike any other. I knew I wanted to document it so that I would never forget it. Also, our kid might care to know this story one day, but maybe I'm just kidding myself ;)

Sam and I had decided to start trying to get pregnant when we got back from Australia. Like REALLY try. Not just see what happens and do it a couple of times. Really give it a shot. I tried not to get my hopes up, but I was late on my period. I also felt cramping like I was going to start my period, so I figured it was just that. Then I was 2 days late. That had happened before, so I tried not to get in my head. Then I was 3 days late. Also happened before, we couldn't be that lucky right? I told myself tomorrow I'll take a test. 4 days is safe. I had never been that late before. I had wanted to wait long enough that if I took a test it wouldn't be a false negative or I would start my period and just confirm it that way. Sam kept asking me everyday if I had started. He was so anxious. I told him no, but to not jinx it or get his hopes up. But he would look at me and say, I think you are...I have a feeling. I guess I really didn't want to get let down, so I didn't entertain the excitement. Day 4 was going to be tomorrow. I had a lot of planning to do if the test was positive. Now I know what you're thinking, you crazy planner you don't have to start planning for the baby the second you find out. It wasn't like that. I had asked Sam long before how he would want to find out that I was pregnant. Did he want me to show him the pee stick? Just flat out tell him? Give him a surprise gift? Being the gift giver he is, he obviously wanted it to be a surprise with a cute gift. I started pinteresting all the cute ideas. So you see I did have to get him something, hence the scrambling I'd have to do to tell him same day. There was no way in hell that I could wait longer than that! Also, COVID through a wrench into things and I couldn't get the baby shoes I had wanted or the Etsy onsie in time. I told myself if it's a positive test tomorrow, I'll go to Target, tell him I'm shopping for mothers day, and get him the special surprise gift for the announcement. I didn't want Sam to get suspicious, so I prepped him for day 4. I let him know I'd be shopping in the morning and what for. Seemed normal. I also unwrapped a pregnancy test and placed it in my robe pocket and put it at the end of the bed so that he wouldn't hear the crinkle of the wrapper. I had a hard time sleeping that night. Come to think of it, I hadn't slept well in weeks.

Day 4 was here! I woke up earlier than usual: 6 am on a Saturday. I was wide awake and knew I needed to take this test. Just get it over with. Don't get your hopes up, I told myself. I was told morning pee has the highest level of HCG, which is the hormone detected in a pregnancy test. I had planned this perfectly. I went and put the test back in my robe pocket and went back to bed!! So crazy right? I couldn't even look at the results, especially with Sam right there in the bed. So I waited until he was up and went downstairs to make breakfast. I knew this moment could make or break my day, but I had to just do it already! I was glad I purchased the digital tests that flat out tell you pregnant or not pregnant. I looked down to read the word I had hoped for: PREGNANT!

Was this real life?? I was so shocked. How could this have happened so quickly? I mean we tried pretty hard, so I wasn't complaining, just surprised. I took another test to be sure. Pregnant again. I went downstairs, had breakfast unsuspected, like a boss, and got ready to go to Target, as planned. I hid another test I had taken took in the main level bathroom and left it to process. Weirdest thing, it didn't come out at all. Just a blank test. This made me worried, even though I had 2 positive tests before. I took another test with me so that I could be 1 million percent sure. I told you I couldn't believe it.

I had a hard time finding gender neutral items at Target but I made it work. I picked up a letter board too to spell out a cute message for Sam. Baby shoes, check! Took a quick test in the Target restroom before wasting my money on these items, LOL!! Still pregnant! It was settled then. I was pregnant. Only took 4 tests and 3 positives to convince me. I didn't realize at the time that I had been experiencing some symptoms early on. Nothing obvious like vomiting, food aversions, or fatigue. Very mild, hardly noticeable symptoms. (don't worry, I paid for that a few weeks later). I didn't feel pregnant! I didn't look pregnant! I was a little bloated but it's quarantine...So excited and hardly able to contain myself, I checked out and headed home.

Sam was working on laying our sprinkler lines, a quarantine project we had started since there was nothing else to do! He was so focused on that, so I had no problem setting the whole thing up in the guest bedroom upstairs, where he wouldn't find it. Should I tell him when he takes a lunch break? I can't wait all day! It had already been like 4 hours. He came in to eat and seemed super focused on things. Said he even needed to take a trip to Home Depot to pick up more supplies. I had this feeling he wasn't in the right mindset for this news and if I told him anyways, he would drop everything and not finish what he wanted to that day. Even though I was so close to letting him in on this life changing secret, I opted to let him finish, make dinner and drinks and surprise him then, with Sangria!! It was hard, but I wanted to moment to be perfect and knew he would want to celebrate. I told him that I wanted to show him the mothers day gifts I had picked up for my mom when he was done working, so he knew I would have something to show him later. I was so impressed with myself for playing it cool. He has zero suspicions.

I think I cleaned every square inch of the house that day. I was very productive to keep myself busy. The landscaping project was taking a long time and I just couldn't spoil it early but also was needing to keep my mind from going crazy!! I couldn't tell anyone. There wasn't a person who could know before my husband. If you know me, I'm a sharer so it's very hard for me to know something and not tell someone. Especially something this HUGE!! But, I made it through and it was getting closer to dinner time. It had been 8 hours since the first test!!! I set out the wine glasses and filled his with Sangria and mine with sparkling water (he knew I hadn't been drinking in case I was pregnant so this didn't raise any suspicion either). I told him I wanted to cheers to his hard work and enjoy the charcuterie that we had bought for the weekend! He gladly agreed! Then I said, oh wait I wanted to show you the gifts I got my mom real quick! I led him upstairs to the guest room where I had the whole thing lined up. He took one glance and said, "Wowzers". Feel free to give him a hard time for this reaction!! It's still so funny to me! Didn't know we were still saying things like wowzers, but needless to say, he was surprised and thrilled. Also very scared at the same time. I felt the same!! We had told each other that if it happened we would be thinking, "So it works. This is how babies are made!" And that's exactly how we felt. We had created a little miracle, and on the first try! We were beyond blessed and this is what we had prayed for for a long time! The next adventure was already underway and we were going to be parents. The happiness and excitement was all that we could feel for the next few weeks. Now to prepare to tell our parents together!! This Mother's Day would be the first time I could celebrate alongside our mom's and surprise them and our dad's with the best gift, a grandchild!!